Do you fight about Money?

Money fights are the number one cited reason for marital
discourse.

What makes a happy marriage?  Romance?
Communication? True love? It’s certainly not money, right?

We would agree that money isn’t what makes a good marriage but, according to the experts, it is certainly a big factor in making a bad one.

How do you and your spouse relate to money? 

We are often brought together by sharing similar goals in life. We are not averse to talking about where we want to live, how many kids we want and career desires, but we tend to not talk about our financial attitudes.

If you, your spouse and your marriage are described to a 'T' in some of these scenarios -- don't worry! There is help for you! Below, you will find an outline on how to improve your "financial love life" which will in turn lead to a happier marriage. You CAN do it!!

We all grow up learning how to deal with money from our parents.
When we unite in marriage, we bring all our preconceived ideas about finance with us. In fact, most fights are not about the amount of money spent but are a result of unspoken expectations. The stuff we're afraid to talk about.

Different views on managing money and conflicting agendas are culprits to facing money issues as a couple. People can get so set in their own money views that they can't see that their spouse simply has a different perspective.

One way to hedge fights over finances is to establish common goals.
You need to think about, discuss and devise a plan for dealing with the various milestones in your life that will require money—buying a house, having kids, caring for parents, funding retirement.

Your attitude about money is more important than how much you have. With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, often due to financial difficulties, now is the time to talk, establish expectations, and draw up a financial plan.

Here are some guidelines to tackling your money woes:

1. Stop living beyond your means, by creating a budget.  Sit down with your spouse and write down how much money you make. Next write down all the places where the money needs to go. Allocate every single dollar. Compare the income with the outgo. This will let you know if you make enough money to support your spending habits.

2. Agree to Agree.  According to Douglass Weiss, God uses finances to increase our dependence on him, thus increasing our faith. When you weather a financial storm with your spouse you are sure to grow closer if you handle them united. We all make financial mistakes. Say this out loud, “We all make financial mistakes.” It’s a learning process.

3. Assess Your Financial History.  Click here to take inventory of where you and your spouse are on the issues of spending, saving and stewardship.

4. Full Disclosure.  Secrets are never an ingredient in a good marriage. It is a must to be completely honest about debt, savings and spending intentions. Openness and sincerity are paramount to your success.

Every Couple Should Ask These Four Questions:

1. What do we believe and how do we behave in regard to debt?
2. How much debt is reasonable?
3. What do we believe about spending and the use of credit cards?
4. What do we believe about tithing?